me + dreams: Lost Sheep

You know the saying, "If you can't sleep, then count sheep"?

Well, I think a few of my "sleep sheep" went AWOL. And my "mind shepherd" has been searching all over for them. Consequently, I'm running on low sleep. With that little shepherd running around everywhere I am having some crazy dreams. Ones that are so bizarre and terrifying that I wake myself up and lay in bed thinking, "What the heck?"

I had at least 5 separate dreams last night. All different plots, locations, etc. Here's what that roaming shepherd of mine encountered:

#1: Joseph Smith and I running from a modern-day mob. Heavenly Father has a panic room for us that can only be accessed by shaking His hand through a TV. (????? I know, I know.) So Joseph Smith and I hang out in the panic room talking about the Creation, until the mob breaks in and take us to a bar where they make fun of us. (Side note: My dreams often lack an ending. It's like I change channels or something.)

#2: I'm pregnant but don't know it. My water breaks in the middle of the night. Scott says, "I think you're pregnant! But don't worry, I'm a doctor." I'm freaking out that I want to go the hospital. But Scott is determined to deliver the baby. Two pushes and my baby boy is out. But, the umbilical cord is attached to his mouth. (?????) Scott cuts it, everything is perfectly fine. We bundle up our bright-eyed baby and head out to the park. (Side note: I attribute this dream to that horribly terrifying but addicting TLC program, "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant.")

#3: I'm a scientist on a submarine. Me and my partner (my sister Brittany) head out from the sub in our tuba gear. We're done collecting samples and head back. The sub has a round hole entrance that opens at the bottom, as we're getting back in, my sister is suddenly whipped away from the entrance by something. I dive down screaming for her. It's a GIANT OCTOPUS. Pink and scary. It's whipping Brittany around. I'm terrified to go near it but have to save Brittany. I swim toward the monster. The end. (Seriously, I woke up because I was so scared. I had to snuggle next to Scott for comfort.)

#4: I'm desperately trying to rearrange my clothes on a rolling rack. I want it to look Modern. I'm sick of my closet. (????--Apparently, I'm OCD even in my dreans.)

#5: (This one's hazy, I can't quite remember it. But I think I was hiking.)

So there you have it. A glimpse into my psyche. Please don't judge me. Whenever I tell Scott about my dreams, he asks if I'd taken drugs before bed. haha. That would explain a lot. But, no. Drug-free. The craziness is purely natural.

So tonight, if a haggard-looking, zombie-like little shepherd interrupts your own little sleep pasture. Please send him back. I need some R&R. The craziness has got to stop.